Regardless of what kind of leadership role I find myself in now or in the future, I am constantly reminded of the greatest leadership role I will ever hold; I am a leader in my home. Ultimately, Christ is our leader & my husband is head over me, but my husband and I have securely taken our roles in our family with me as the designated leader of our everyday home life. I primarily organize our home, educate our children, budget our finances, and schedule our family activities.
Once again, I am humbled by this responsibility and am always seeking wisdom and accountability as to how I manage the leadership role I have been given.
Leading our homes and families is a high call.
It is a joy and a challenge always in need of some good tips to keep us going, help us adjust & improve, & motivate us to go low.
I have compiled 8 different keys I strive to incorporate into my home leadership role. These are the beginning of my thoughts that I hope to flesh out even more in some future posts.
This does not mean that you are walked all over or allow unrealistic expectations to be put on you, but it does mean you will serve in a thousand ways your family does not see and that is alright. They do not have to see it.
2. Delegate. Wow. This is huge. It is so important to delegate. For example, our kids need chores. Yes, I said, “need.” They need to take responsibility for the home they live in, take care of it, and respect those they live with by doing their part.
That may also mean that you let go of micromanaging everyone. Choose completion over perfection. If it is done, it is done. Don’t go back and do it over again every time you ask your kids or even your husband to help out in some way. I mean, unless the kids put the dishes in the trash can instead of the dishwasher. Use your judgment, but this is such a struggle for me. I want things perfect & done by a certain time that many times I take on too much & rob my family from the gift of serving each other & our home.
Little ones can do chores. They can set the table. They can put their clothes away. They can fold towels. Get creative.
3. Show them who you really are. Share with your family (your kids included) your joys, challenges, fears, etc. You want to use wisdom, of course, as to how much you share with your kids, but they need to know and see the real you not just their valiant leader. Leadership is a vulnerable place. When you are vulnerable, it allows who lead to be vulnerable with you. This builds trust between the two of you and only strengthens your role as the leader.
4. Become the gatekeeper of your home. Nothing comes in and nothing comes out of my home without me allowing it. I am not perfect, but I take this very seriously in my home. This can include inappropriate entertainment, unhealthy habits, fears, anxiety, lack of peace, etc. God has appointed us over our homes. If it is lacking peace, then we have the authority to bring peace back in.
5. Foster freedom. Natural leaders can really struggle with this one. I struggle with this one. It is easy to just take charge & dictate what our kids and husband will do in any given situation, but we have to remember that a leader goes low. Our role is to foster freedom and peace. God does not force us to love him or live a certain way. He may pursue us & guide us, but He does not force us.
Giving choices, especially to our kids, is huge. I know when my kids get to choose our meal (maybe from a list of 2 or 3 that I have chosen) or choose the clothes they will wear that day, our activity goes much more smoothly.
There is a choice available in just about everything if you get creative. If they choose the right path it means more to them than if we choose it for them. This is an important life lesson for the future when you are not their to choose their path for them.
6. Cultivate peace. When I lack peace, my kids lack peace. They follow my lead. I have to stop and remember this in the moments when a tornado of emotions comes sweeping through my house. It is so easy to get swept in, but knowing that we have the authority to change the atmosphere in our home as the leader is very important.
One of the best ways I have learned to do this is through prayer & worship. I might pray to myself for peace in my own heart & wisdom to lead my family into peace. I may need to actually sit down with my kids & pray for them or ask them to spend some time with Jesus alone before they continue in their interactions with the other members of our family. Or, my home might just need a little music to get us on the right track. My kids LOVE dancing. This is my husband’s secret weapon to gaining control over chaos.
7. Put connection above productivity. Things have to get done. There are tasks that do not just disappear or take care of themselves, but as a leader, it is important to value those that we are leading & invest time & energy into being with them & enjoying them.
I want my kids to remember all the times we played outside or played board games together over all the times they watched me work on my computer or cook them dinner. There is a healthy balance that may look different for all of us, but remember go low. You might have to wake up before everyone else to get something done so you are freed up to spend time with your family.
8. Establish a routine & healthy habits. I am a firm believer in establishing some kind of a schedule for yourself and your family. I probably schedule out more than a lot of people, but I thrive in order. My schedule is very flexible, but having a schedule allows me to see the time that is appropriate for a task, creates routine & expectation for what is next in our day, and fosters good work ethic for me & my family.
I believe we get a lot more accomplished & have more fun because of our routine & habits than we would without it!
This is a picture of the schedule I have made for me & my kids. It hangs on the wall in front of my desk. I have one just like it for our homeschooling time. It may overwhelm some of you, and I realize that I am a little overkill sometimes. I am super type A, but it at least it gives you an example. It is an ideal schedule that serves as a guideline for our day & week.
Be blessed today & have a great weekend with your family.
What is your dream birth? This is the question I ask moms when I first…11 September 2015