I have to admit that I love it so much that I find myself imagining the scenery around me as I sit in my living room as my kids yell, “mommy” for the hundredth time of the day. I allow myself to sit on the warm sand just for a moment when I feel myself getting caught in the rip tide of my homemaker to-do list. I am so thankful that the Lord loves to speak my language and does not call me crazy when he sees me “laying out” in my mind on the beach while my feet hit the cold floor of my kitchen and my hands meticulously wash dishes and sort laundry. A girl has just got to do what a girl has to do sometimes.
One day a few months ago, I was having some “beach time,” and I felt the Lord tell me to take a look at the waves. The waves seemed to get higher and more intense the more my gaze set it’s full attention on them. Again, I heard him tell me to look closer. It was as if I could see the fish, rocks, and seaweed riding them like a roller coaster. Suddenly my heart felt fear leap within me as a thought passed through my mind; “what if He asked me to go out into the waves?” Before the thought could leave my side, the reality of why I was standing on the shore enveloped me. “He is calling me out into the waves!”
What started as a moment of peace and serenity now was a moment of fear beckoning for bravery to hold its hand. Why would I be fearful of the place that I love? Why would I now want to run from the moment that brought stillness to my mind only moments before? I realized that the Lord was offering me the gift of peace. His heart for me is that His peace would flood even the most fearful and unknown places of my heart.
The more I think about the Lord’s offer to me, the more it has transformed me in this season of my life. It is funny how when you catch a hold of a piece of truth, it seems to follow you like a little toddler at your heels until you finally “get it.” That is exactly what my invitation to be brave has done.
As you may know, I am pregnant with my third child. We are only about 6 weeks away from holding our little girl. Although my heart leaps with excitement, for many months my fast approaching “labor day” resembled the crashing waves sweeping the sand and rocks beneath its feet. My previous childbirth experiences were not exactly like having a cup of tea on my front porch on a breezing fall evening (if you know what I mean). I have so longed to have a birth full of peace and beauty that I realized I was fearful of even stepping a toe into the water. Although my heart was longing for one thing, my mind was expecting the tide to take me under. Where was my faith? Where was my bravery?
The past few months have been humorous. EVERYWHERE I turn, I see the word BRAVE. I can’t seem to escape it, and for this I am thankful!
I am taking the challenge to step out into the waters. The tide hasn’t taken me under yet, and this time I do not have the expectation that it ever will. He makes me brave. He calls me out in the waves. His hand is on me, beside me, in front of me, and behind me. I do not know exactly what my “labor day” will bring, but I know I will be brave. I will be full of grace and peace without fear. I remind myself that I love the beach. I love the waves. Jesus loves me in the waves. There is no fear in love.
Moments of bravery and even the moments leading up to the moments that cry out for bravery have a way of shaping us like clay in the potter’s hand. It is even alright if we need to lean on the Lord and sit in His hands as if sitting in a little baby’s float. Taking a seat and holding on does not mean that we are suddenly not courageous, it just means we have learned to trust Him in the midst of moments of vulnerability.
I pray that as I walk out the remainder of my pregnancy and birth, my moments of bravery will shape me as a mother, a wife, and most of all a daughter of a King who holds the earth in the palm of His hand. I pray for you that your moments of bravery will not intimidate you but rather call out to you. Grab your floaties if you need them and run for it!
See you in the waves,
***The song below has been an encouragement to me in this season. Enjoy!
What is your dream birth? This is the question I ask moms when I first…24 September 2014