Do you know how to juggle?

I have always wanted to know how to juggle, but I just can’t do it. I have tried. I can get those 2 balls going, but the 3rd one trips me up every time.

Maybe you do know how to juggle, but can you think of something else besides “don’t drop the balls” while you do it? Try it! It is near impossible.

This week I have been prepping for a talk I am giving to a mom’s group this weekend. I am speaking on “Balancing Being You, a Mom, and a Wife.” When I think about this balancing act, it makes me think of trying to juggle. It sounds exhausting.

I don’t know about you, but when I try to split my roles up like they are 3 different juggling balls not related to each other, I fail.  I strive to be a good mom, a good wife, and a good “me.” Striving wears me out.

When I try to juggle my roles as an individual, a wife, and a mom, the 3rd ball ALWAYS falls to the ground. The 3rd ball is ME.

I forget me. I forget that I matter. I forget the things I love to do. I struggle to exercise. I struggle to prioritize my quiet time with God. I can’t do it all. No matter how hard I try, something always seems to be off-balance, especially in very demanding seasons.

As I have been praying, brainstorming, and talking to other moms about this juggling act, I have pondered this question: Maybe we don’t have to juggle all 3 roles?

Maybe, just maybe, all the roles we fill boil down into 1 primary focus. Are you curious?? Keep reading!

1 Corinthians 13:12 says, ” For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.”

I LOVE those words, “fully known.” I am fully known by God just as I will fully know Him one day in eternity. For now, I seek Him, and I rejoice that He knows me. I am a child of God known by Him and valued by Him.

THIS is the only role I must fully give myself to. I am a child of God. This is the only role that truly defines who we are.

If I know WHO I am, I can serve others well. I can LOVE well. I can VALUE myself and others well. I don’t strive to be at the top. I am comfortable in my own skin. I don’t compare myself to others. I don’t have to be right. I enjoy being me and suddenly my cup overflows into my most intimate relationships.

Does this mean we don’t have to work intentionally at our relationships? Absolutely not. But, it means that we can learn to be who we are created to be in the midst of all of our relationships. We don’t have to drop the “me ball” in order to manage the others. In healthy relationships, we give of ourselves. We let ourselves be known, and we seek to know.

Instead of trying to juggle it all, take a deep breath and try out some of these suggestions:

1. Take the risk to be known. Be you with your spouse and kids. Don’t try to be someone else. Talk to them about who you are, what you love, what you fear, etc.
2. Invite them in. Teach them how to do the things you love. If you love fishing, then go fishing. If you love painting, then paint.
3. Prioritize your time with God. Even in the hardest and busiest seasons, it has to be top priority. Although, it might look different in different seasons. You might have 3o minutes a day, or you might only be able to listen to worship music while you fold laundry.
4. Simplify. If someone else can do it, let them. (check out a post I wrote on that once). Or, lower your expectations for yourself and others. I heard one mom say once, “I can home school my kids, or I can clean my house. I can’t do both.”
5. Set boundaries.  Without boundaries, kids, jobs, hobbies, etc will take over and become idols. I know this sounds harsh, but it is true. Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships. This is probably THE most common reason I see mothers struggle: their kids have been allowed to take over, leaving no time for their husband or quiet time.

I propose…

Your kids & spouse need to know you and be with you not be “juggled.” They need you to be YOU & value you. They don’t want you to drop the “YOU” ball. They need you to take care of yourself. They need to see your struggles & weaknesses. They need to see you walking in your passions, your gifts, and your talents.

I am not suggesting that we put ourselves first and walk in pride. Marriage and motherhood are THE ultimate calls to humility. We are to be the greatest servant of all, just as Jesus was as He walked the earth. But, Jesus served knowing fully who He was and who He was loved by. He prioritized His time in prayer and His time with His disciples. He let them know Him. He brought them close.

Resist the need to compartmentalize and bring your loved ones close.

Be blessed my friends,

Cathy